The eternal battle of fully loving self is put to the test, when we perceive that we can only love ourselves wholly when we have met a ridiculous construct of “how we are supposed to be.” This ideology places perfection as the gold standard; anything less is to be hated and removed.
This delusional understanding of personality, makes us cringe when we fall short (and inevitably we will), because the pressure for perfection, causes even the most conscious person to crack.
Loathing the deepest darkest pieces of our selves, doesn’t help master the mind or allow for love to permeate the soul. Being aware of and looking with curiosity and intrigue upon our “hang ups,” and dirty secrets allows for us to stay connected to them, therefore minimizing behaviors that are destructive.
Where there is yin, there is yang. The world exists in contrasts and so do we. There is much beauty to behold when we live in light; but the recognition of darkness, frees our spirit from unnecessary restrictions.
These restrictions can cause us to break down, to give up on self and to create a fake reality, so people think “everything’s ok.”
I would not know love, unless I’ve lived apathy. I would not know kindness, if I hadn’t known hate. I would not know wisdom, if I hadn’t been a fool. I would not know health, if I hadn’t had pain. I wouldn’t know truth, if I hadn’t known lies.
You are not “bad” or “good” - most of us are simply processing being products of shitty circumstances and wading through the waters of past experience.
You have the strength to overcome. To be light energy and everything “right.”
Perfection is not the goal.
Be brave in your pursuit of self love which holds all of you, the “good,” the “bad”and the “ugly...” in high esteem.
You are light and you are dark. And within this knowledge, you’ll uncover freedom.
SHE WOKE UP DIFFERENT TODAY
Tired of searching for peace, love and contentment outside herself, she made a choice. She decided that every night she would dream of the beauty in life and each day she would wake and create that reality. She would no longer try to find happiness in things or let anyone control her destiny with a harsh word or an uninformed opinion.
She made this choice to heal her soul. To let go of past griefs that held her hostage to the cycle of shame and guilt. She dove inwards and loved every inch of her brokenness. She sealed up the cracks with self love, empowerment and connected herself to the all powerful energy source of oneness.
SHE WOKE UP.
I'm sitting in the sunshine after a long hot shower, that followed a very sweaty indoor stair workout and yoga session. I'm feeling peaceful, calm and quite rested from the amount of sleep and self care that's occurring during this time of social distancing.
The COVID-19 crisis, has left many entrepreneurs, like myself, out of full-time work. Most of the people I see, are one on one appointments, for massage therapy healing. Since the doors to my Studio have closed (temporarily), I've embraced the downtime. To my delight, the little aches and pains that built up from 18 years of helping clients with their injuries are slowly diminishing. I don't love not working - the lack of face to face social interactions has me feeling a little out of sorts. My "caged" feelings erupt at times, as I over look the city in my birds-eye-view condo. Yet in my complete honesty, I still have my personal freedoms and a strong sense of security.
As I scroll the news feed, I'm absorbing reports of how this pandemic is affecting the world and its people. Within reading a few sentences, my heart sinks. The statistics are shocking. There is a new type of terror on the rise. A horrible repercussion of this virus that's devouring more people than I could ever imagine. "Intimate terrorism," experts are calling it, is becoming its own type of virus; spreading into many homes and causing irreversible damage.
Since the world wide issuing of isolation, lay offs and businesses closing - there have been many families that are pushed together into dangerous living conditions. The rise of domestic violence has been steadily climbing and sadly crushing the system for women and children to receive help. With lack of work, financial strains, extra home stresses, mental instability, fears, and unhealed patterns of anger and brutality, the dangerous personality finds himself in a perfect situation to act out.
I'm not a scholar nor an expert on domestic violence. But I am an empathetic healer who knows all too well what a dangerous scenario this is. When families who already have mental, physical and emotional abuse going on are jammed together for a period of time, a hellish nightmare begins.
My personal experience with violence is a story from the past and is reactivated as I read about women and children being tormented, world wide. My heart aches and tears flow like a river. I refuse to pretend that this time is "good for all mankind" and that the earth can finally "rest." This may be the bigger picture, but if I am correct, and I believe that I am... nature bleeds as we bleed. There is no praying, meditating or chanting that can fix the shit of destruction that some families are facing.
Home is where the heart should be. It should be a place of safety, guidance and structure for any child. It should be a place where a couple lives in harmony, speaking in loving communication, with intention for self betterment. I would love, in my beautiful bubble of self healing and awareness, to say that this time will bring about reflection and a beautiful new normal for everyone. But this is not reality. The sacred relationship of divine self love is just not occurring in places where destruction, emotional carelessness and erupting anger reside.
This is not doom and gloom. This is becoming acquainted with what "is," rather than "how we'd like things to be." We're all going to experience this time differently; and I respect that. I'm personally curious to see where life goes after all this is over. No expectations... simply trusting I will land where I'm needed. This is just another example of circumstances out of our control. And out of control it is. Our inner awareness will guide us to truth and in our universal community consciousness, we know that not every one will get through this fire unscathed.
This is what I hold dear in my heart... for those suffering at the hand of someone else, that there is a place of relief available, a person who may help you or a way for you and your children to escape. You are loved and seen. As the earth quiets, I hear your screams.
Do your best, as I will, to look out for one another. There is no stopping the force of violence in a home, if the force is allowed to keep building. It's our "problem" to get involved.
Much truth, love and compassion,